Q&A: Dairy-free recipes?

Q from K.:

I recently had a babe and find that she does not tolerate dairy AT ALL. and my bigger kids dont take kindly to it either. You have recipes that dont require dairy but many of the desserts and sauces include it. Do you have alternatives to dairy that work well in these recipes? Oh and that are not soy alternatives? If you do i would love to see them featured. It seems like so many of the budget food ideas include or are heavy on the dairy group.

A from Linda: Thanks so much for your kind words and enthusiasm! We are actually cutting down on dairy in our household and I'm looking for non-dairy desserts, so you will see more recipes that work for your family in the coming months. The cheese-sauce recipe was actually just a response to the canned-soup casseroles of Thanksgiving.

Here are some recipes you might enjoy:
Lemon-Walnut Sauce
Hummus
just the sauce for Potato-Peanut Curry
Bean-Broth Gravy made with corn oil
Oooo, Mama! Gravy

Applesauce with Raisins
Minted Cantaloupe Sorbet (not in season now, alas!)

And I'll put non-dairy desserts on the front burner for January. I haven't tested any recipes with almond milk or other nut milks, but many cooks say they work fine. I used to use soy milk before we gave up soy. We often have plain fruit for dessert, but I'm sure you've already thought of that.

Does anyone out there have good non-dairy dessert suggestions suitable for vegans or people who can't tolerate milk?

NYT: At Vegans’ Weddings, Beef or Tofu?

Some headlines seem ripped from the pages of The Onion, yet show up in the New York Times. Take At Vegans’ Weddings, Beef or Tofu?

Tofu, of course, you think. Or Harvest Lasagna. Or asparagus quiche. Or a selection of many delicious and festive options, plus cake.

But I was surprised both to read that Chelsea Clinton is a vegetarian and that she served short ribs at her wedding. Short RIBS, such a vividly meaty-meat with all those bones and with echoes back to Eve. Why not pork barbeque? Her groom is Jewish, but evidently the morality of dining choices was not on the menu.

For years, I've had holiday dinner parties, with 50 or so guests, that had all vegetarian food. Many guests never noticed, exclaiming with surprise years into our acquaintance when they realize I don't buy or cook meat. Most people focus on the good food that's there, not what's missing.

I've been spared boorish guests like the article's Mr. Moore, who not only snuck out for chicken parm but brought it back to the wedding! He says, "I know it’s your day, but it’s not all about you. Why have a wedding if you’re going to be like that? Just print a bumper sticker.” By "be like that," does he mean honor the bridal couple's sense of morality? Isn't that what a wedding is about? Of course they should consider the comforts and pleasures of their guests, including not sneering at Aunt Ida's lizard pumps, but wedding guests will not go into meat withdrawal or get kwashiorkor in an afternoon.

What do you think? Should vegans serve honey and dairy? Vegetarians serve meat? Baptists and tea-totalers serve champagne? Various religious serve their versions of unclean food, be it meat, seafood, pork, or something not kosher or halal? Should anyone serve veal or foie gras? Bring your mistress up the aisle too, lest you hurt her feelings?

Where do you draw the line, if there is one?